Sharon Harrigan

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July 8, 2014 By Sharon Harrigan

It’s Good To Be . . .

self-consciousness

In Paul Auster’s latest memoir, Department of the Interior, he says,

“There is nothing better than being six years old, six is far and away the best age anyone can be. You remember thinking this as clearly as you remember what you did three seconds ago. . . What had happened to cause such an overpowering feeling? Impossible to know, but you suspect it had something to do with the birth of self-consciousness, that thing that happens to children at around the age of six, when the inner voice awakes and the ability to think a thought and tell yourself you are thinking that thought begins. . . You could think about being alive, and once you could do that, you could . . . tell yourself how good it was to be alive.”

I remember being five years old and telling myself that I was always going to remember what it felt like to be five years old. I tried to fix that year in permanent marker in my brain, afraid even then, of losing myself. “Five will always be my favorite number,” I said. “I didn’t just pick it because I’m five years old.”

A few years later, I promised not to forget what it felt like to be a child. What I meant, at age eight or nine, was that I didn’t want to lose sight, once I grew up, of how powerless it felt to be a child. How much all your decisions are made for you. How little control you have. Does the fact that I’m writing this mean I’ve remembered? I’m not sure.

Then there are moments, like Paul Auster’s, when I told myself I was glad to be alive. The moment I learned I got a scholarship to go to college in New York City. Me? Really? The moment I realized James was going to marry me. It’s true. He did! I remember those moments as well as I remember my name. Times when I was so lucky I kept looking behind my shoulder, afraid someone would leap up and say, Oops! Wrong person. We didn’t mean you.

And here I am, realizing that all it takes to have one of those “I’m lucky to be alive” moments is self-consciousness. All I need to do is pay attention.

I am traveling to Paris with my family. I am eating a pain au lait at the table while gazing out at the rain. I am typing a blog post about the ecstasy of it all. I am thinking, then taking stock of my thinking. Maybe I’ll  still recall this moment decades from now. I’ll remember trying to remember: There is nothing better than this.

Filed Under: Paris Tagged With: Department of the Interior, Paris, Paul Auster, self-consciousness, Sharon Harrigan

July 8, 2014 By Sharon Harrigan

You say linger-ay, I say linger-ee

nightie 1

 

I hate shopping. I hate confronting the difference between what a beautiful dress looks like on a hanger and on my body. I hate making decisions. (Another black dress? Or am I ready to show on the outside how iconoclastic I am on the inside, by wearing, say, neon orange?) And then there’s the pesky little detail about money. (Shouldn’t I just put every penny into my kids’ college funds?)

But here I am in Paris, during the twice-a-year season of soldes. Everything is on sale, marked way, way down. Plus I didn’t bring enough underwear.

My husband and I are alone for a few days while the kids are at camp. Even the dog has a sitter. And, since we’re in the Land of Lingerie, an underthings store beckons me on every block.

The last time I shopped for unmentionables was a year ago, again during the season of soldes, right before our sabbatical year here ended. I thought I’d gotten over my feelings of inadequacy vis-a-vis the natives (French women are so tiny! So chic!) I’d recovered from the fear that the boutiques wouldn’t even have anything that fit me. I knew my French bra size now. I took off the one I was wearing and looked at the tag. Then laughed out loud.

Why? Because the size is a ludicrously high number.

In America I am a 36, but in France I am a 90. (No need to remind myself that my dress size went from 8 to 38 and my shoe size from 7 to 37. I can just ignore the numbers I don’t like, the way politicians do.)

I’ll try to pretend I don’t know that the difference has to do with centimeters being smaller than inches. I’ll tell myself that all I had to do was fly over the Atlantic and my breasts almost tripled in size. And my weight, in kilos, is almost half its imperial number. Those 90-size breasts must be filled with something as light as fantasy. I imagine slipping my shirts over a couple of hot air balloons.  

I bought a bra and panties to replace the ones that had stretched out and faded since last year. I also nabbed a lacy red nuisette. I didn’t actually need a nightie, but it was 50 percent off. Judging from how little fabric there was, it seems only fair that I was able to buy it for next to nothing.

So I still have a little money left to take care of my kids. But I’m not going to think about that—or them—tonight.

Filed Under: Paris Tagged With: lingerie, Paris, Sharon Harrigan

February 24, 2014 By Sharon Harrigan

How Getting a Puppy Is Like Living in Paris

mittens with ball

eiffel tower

Mittens, my three-month-old cockapoo, nabbed a plastic bag from the dirty snow with her mouth, shook out an opened ketchup container, and licked. Not exactly the height of haute cuisine. Then she sniffed out the feathers left from a cat’s midnight snack and rolled, covering her fur with bloody fluff. Hardly haute couture, either.

So what do puppies and Paris have in common?

I can’t take Mittens for a walk without every neighbor kid running out the door, panting: “You are so lucky. Aw. . . I want one, too.”

When I told my friends we were moving to Paris for twelve months, they all said, “I wish I were you.” One woman even asked (jokingly, I hope) if I wanted to do a husband swap for a year. Even now, as my husband readies for a two-week solo trip to Paris over spring break, people keep saying, “Lucky dog” and don’t believe him when he says, “It’s for work, not fun.”

The pet-crazy kids on our block don’t want to hear about having to set my alarm to take the puppy outside in the middle-of-the-night cold to empty her bladder. The fashion- and food-obsessed francophiles don’t want to know about having to wait eleven months to get health insurance or visit a bank five times before being allowed to open an account.

Puppies and Paris. Adorable. Enviable. Exhausting. Not that I’m complaining. I know I’m not allowed to. And anyway, I can’t open my mouth. Mittens is wagging her entire bottom with joy, a joy I can’t help but share, as she covers me with kisses. And ketchup. Bon apetit!

mittens lying downmittens with stick

 

Filed Under: Paris Tagged With: Paris, puppies, Sharon Harrigan

October 18, 2013 By Sharon Harrigan

David and Goliath, or Monoprix and Giant

chatpuccino


One of the best things about our location in Paris was the store next door. Monoprix is a supermarket. It’s also a microcosm, the contemporary equivalent of old-fashioned general stores in small towns. Flour and butter and eggs and really good merguez sausage and coeur coulant chocolate cakes beckoned from the back. Clothes, books, office supplies, make-up, toiletries and kitchen gear lured people in from the street. If Monoprix didn’t stock something, that meant you didn’t need it. And yet the store wasn’t big.

Not like Giant. That’s my local supermarket here in the States. The physical space is as huge as its name, with aisles wide enough to drive a pick-up through. They sell only food and toiletries.

I have fidelity cards for both stores, so I receive e-mails from Giant and Monoprix, sometimes on the same day. The contrast makes me laugh.

Giant’s e-mail today says “Feed a family of four for $7 or less with budget-friendly recipes. This week is tuna and vegetable stove-top casserole: 1 box Rice-a-Roni Broccoli Au Gratin, 1 cup frozen peas, 1 can tuna. Mix.” Last week’s missive was a three-ingredient recipe for turkey chili.

Monoprix’s newsletter features breakfast made from three sale items: braided brioche, mango preserves, and orange juice. It reads, in French: “Add to your table a few cravings, a hint of indulgence and a lot of balance for breakfast. A slice of brioche will start you off on the right foot.” Bread, jam, and juice cost 9.26 Euros, or almost twice as much as the $7 dinner-for-four from Giant. Coffee costs extra, especially if you get a chatpuccio, or cat cappuchino, like the one Monoprix sent me (pictured above).

Or, for about the same amount as the tuna casserole or turkey chili, you can buy from Monoprix several “men’s beauty” items, the e-mail says. I can’t imagine my supermarket with the big, burly name ever daring to put the words “men” and “beauty” in the same sentence.

Because we had such a small pantry and refrigerator in Paris, I shopped at Monoprix every day. At least that’s how it felt. If I stayed away too long, I’d joke about going through “Monoprix withdrawal.”

We loved that store so much we are even considering naming our not-yet-adopted dog for it. Monop for short. It’s got a ring to it, doesn’t it?

Or do you think we should name our dog Giant? Such a name might be confusing, since he won’t be a big dog. He’s got to be small enough to slip into a handbag. Then we can take him grocery shopping.

Filed Under: Paris Tagged With: Giant, Monoprix, Paris, Sharon Harrigan, supermarkets

October 18, 2013 By gerson

Homesick for Paris?

homesick

Yesterday, my ten-year-old daughter Ella came home from school and said, “I’m homesick for Paris.” We’ve been back in the States for a few months, long enough that I thought she would be settled by now.

For me, our sabbatical year in France sometimes seems like water that’s boiled out of a pot and dispersed in the air. Our life in the spiral-staircased apartment across from the Catacombs has escaped out the door, flown up into the sky, and bonded with a cloud.

But for Ella our year away remains real. “My soul is European.” She left her heart in Paris.

What does it mean to be homesick for a place that’s not your permanent home? Where you weren’t born? Where your family doesn’t live? What does it mean: home?

As a child, I felt homesick for places I hadn’t visited. I longed to live in New York City, even though I’d never set foot there. I saw the city in person for the first time when I moved into my college dorm at Columbia at age eighteen, but I’d seen enough of this iconic place in books and movies and on TV that I felt like the city and I were old friends. I was home.

I felt so at home that leaving New York City several years ago for Virginia felt like leaving my homeland. New York is like its own country, so different from anywhere else in the U.S.

To my surprise, I settled easily in Virginia. Charlottesville isn’t a big city, but it is full of smart people making art. It feels like home. And so did Paris. And so does Charlottesville again. Now that I’ve been uprooted once, I’ve grown more mobile and flexible. Ask me to switch cities or countries and I’ll say: “I need a little time. How about next week?”

Compared to the people Ella went to school with in Paris, I’ve barely moved at all.  Their definition of “home” was a place they’d stayed for at least two years. “The third year is always the best,” they’d say. “Too bad you can’t stay in Paris that long.”

I hope it won’t take three years to recover from homesickness. In the meantime, I’ll whip up Ella some recipes from my French cookbook. Lentils with Toulouse sausage. Ratatouille. Navarin d’agneau. Then a plate of Southern fried chicken, to show we don’t have to choose only one place to love.

Sometimes what we’re most nostalgic for is food. And one definition of “home” is simply this: The place with home cooking.

Filed Under: Paris Tagged With: homesickness, Paris, Sharon Harrigan

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